The other kids would capture my brothers and sister and bring them to me. I was in charge of tying them up and keeping them in jail. Some times I would tie them loosely, other times I got so good that there was no escaping my knots. Suddenly I am thinking about my fantasy of kidnapping a man. I know that I could tie him so that he couldn't escape. I felt I was that good at my knots. I pull away. "Remember how you couldn't get out of my knots, you knot head." I say to him with a quiver in my voice. "Yeah you could tie a good knot." "I don't want to hear this stuff." My mother says. Pushing past Bobby and I. "Leonard!" she yells. "Kim is finally here and the roast needs to be cut. I hope it didn't dry out. I don't have much gravy here." My dad lumbers in from the den. He gives me a kiss on the cheek but says nothing. He is thinking. Why me? I giggle.We all found out places at the table. Bobby and his family his wife and two kids. Jack with his wife, they never had kids. We think Nichol. ...." My mom looked at me. "Of course,Andy, you can tell us anything." I looked down at my hands, this was it, Ihad to be strong, I looked up at both of them standing there. "Well heregoes, since I was about two or three years old i've felt like a girl, I'vegrown up with this secret that I've felt like I couldn't tell anyone, dad islike the manliest man you'll ever meet and Mike has always been so tough andrough, but I've always known I wasn't like them, I didn't want to be likethem, I was supposed to be a girl, but I thought it wasn't normal to feellike I do and kept it secret from everybody as best I could, I wake upeveryday wishing I was a girl and go to bed every night praying i'll wake upthe next morning and this will all be a mistake and I'll wake up female, butit never happens, I know what being transgender is and i'm it." As I saidthis tears were forming in my eyes.Mom walked over and hugged me. "It's okay Andy, I love you, I know that musthave been hard to say." I held her.
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